...I know the Smith case doesn't look too good, Beam- But we don't need to resort to prayer quite yet...

Pardon me, but are you going to finish that coffee?...

These magazines provide a great service to humankind. They set a standard towards which all women can strive...

...But if we were to allow live plants in our offices, some of our clients might get the wrong idea...-That we're dangerously liberal conservatives...

...I hope that thing's plastic. No real plants allowed here.

...Hey, it worked! My stubborn willpower overcame my imagination! Way to go team!...

5 P.M.- Time for the switch from coffee to beer...

We all have experiences that are not 'real'...

Your girlfriend is here. She's waiting in the lobby…

Ratliff- Your room is not fit for human habitation...

...Oops- I guess I grabbed the wrong suit this morning.

Do you think I'm starting to look older?...

Hello, Amy? Ratliff McNubb here, I'll get right to the point. You really turn me on…

Eyebeam, when your girlfriend makes a funny, you're supposed to laugh...

...Oh I get it! Psychology major, huh?... What's your dad gonna think?...

You know what sexual attraction to the mother is called? Oedipal...

Lucky thing my breath was all mediciny!

Cold War

Hello Sally- This is Eyebeam... How are you doing?...

Oh God I'll never get this done...

The Chuckling Whatsit

By far the most confusing thing about the rules made by the grown ups was that while they supposedly were for everybody, they were obviously just for the kids and not for the grown ups at all...

Remember how sometimes things got so bad that it seemed absolutely anything else would be an improvement...

...Leo wanted to make a Mickey Mouse steeple clock.

Remember the first time you were taken to a restaurant which didn't serve food that you liked..."

Do you remember wondering why they never showed the really good movies at your neighborhood theater..."

Eyebeam

Supermarket of Religion!

Hey, Eyebeam- Does it look to you like that child is contemplating the paradox of time?...

Every year, 'Sports Illuminated' makes a 15 minute commercial and shows it about 5 times an hour thoughout the holidays...

Singles Bar

I got a job in the Product Glorification Industry!...

It's Spuds McFrenzy- The party potato!...

When I was little, I'd dream of climbing on top of the house and touching the clouds. Touching you has the same magic...

What do you mean I have 'Male Answer Syndrome'?...

Brain Drain

Sleepy in San Francisco

Doonesbury. "Do we republicans want to be seen as enemies of the environment?"

Doonesbury. "'Havoc' Submits His Field Report"

Doonesbury. "Zonk! How's it going, stranger? Long time!"

Doonesbury. "Hi, mom, it's me, Dean"

Doonesbury. "Man! I've never seen a hotel like this, boss"

Doonesbury. "Calm down, Zonk! Now, what's all the yelling about?"

Welcome to Colorado

Doonesbury. "Come on in, grade-grubber!"

I tell you pacifism as a broad policy is unrealistic...

When I was in college I tried to join the best frat on campus...

The Baffles

A buyer's coming to look at the car...